Description
⭐ Biquette Mage Portal TBC
Stand in a capital. Open shop. Let the goat handle the rest.
You're a mage. Half your playtime is people yelling "WTB PORT" while you frantically type "destination?" forty times an hour, miss half of them, and watch a rival mage snatch the rest. This addon turns your portal business into a machine: it catches the customers, invites them, hands them the right portal, pockets the tip, and thanks them with a line tuned to how generous they felt. You barely touch your keyboard.
Built and obsessively tuned on Spineshatter EU for one goal: catch every real portal request, and never embarrass you with a false one.
🎯 Catch every customer, ignore every time-waster
This is where Biquette Mage Portal shines. Most portal addons either miss half the customers or invite the whole city by mistake. This one was rebuilt to do neither.
- Three-layer detection — it reads channels, whispers and yells. First it checks common phrases for speed, then it breaks a message into Intent ("I want"), Service ("a portal") and Destination ("Shattrath") and reasons about each part. No destination given? It asks for one automatically in its first reply.
- Catches the lazy phrasings — "LF shat", "portal og", "tp IF please"… the loose, half-typed requests other addons ignore. If someone wants a portal, the goat finds them.
- Intent-scoring engine — every message is scored, not just keyword-matched. Rival mages advertising "selling portals", enchanters spamming "LF Mongoose", groups shouting "LFM heal for SM", crafters listing twenty stats… all scored out and ignored.
- Smart vetoes — long-winded messages (over 10 words), quest-help, and raid recruitment (SSC, Gruul, casters, loot, SR…) are recognised as non-portal chatter and never trigger an invite.
- Anti-seller filter — other mages announcing their own shop are competitors, not customers, and never invited.
🐐 A client tracker that's actually cool to look at
- The GOAT ORDERS ticket — each customer gets a clean ticket: name, destination, live distance to you, and the correct interactive portal icon for their request. Click the icon to read their original message. One button clears them when done. Returning regulars are tagged VIP right on the ticket.
- Status at a glance — confirmed scammers flagged red, community-reported players in orange, VIPs in green. You always know who you're dealing with before you invite.
🚨 Community scammer shield
Stop getting robbed, and warn everyone else too.
- Official scammer list, built in — known offenders ship with the addon and are flagged on sight (server-aware, so no name clashes).
- Two-tier trust — your own confirmed flags are absolute and never overwritten. Community reports appear in orange, and only once several players independently agree, so one troll can't poison your data.
- Auto-sync over guild, party and raid, plus copy-paste export/import to share lists with players outside your guild.
📊 A statistics dashboard worth opening
One styled, scrollable window. Watch your gold-per-hour climb.
- Revenue & Business Health — total gold, gold today, trades, average tip, conversion rate, tip rate, return-client rate, average client value.
- Records — all-time, best day, best session, biggest single tip with the tipper's name.
- Top Clients by tip bracket — 10g+, 5-9g, 3g, 2g, 1g, each listing your best customers with their visit count, so you can spot your loyal regulars and how often they come back. Expand any bracket with one click.
- Top Destinations — your busiest routes, with gauges, trade counts and average price per portal.
- Activity heatmap — requests and gold by time of day, with your peak hour highlighted.
📈 Gold History
A clean timeline of your earnings, tucked away until you want it.
- Five ranges — 7 days, 15 days, 1 month, Monthly, Yearly, as styled tabs.
- Color-graded tiles — the bigger the gold, the brighter the tile.
- Monthly and Yearly show clean totals, so you can track the long game without drowning in detail.
😂 Reactions that make people laugh
Every tip triggers a thank-you, picked at random from several lines per tier, so it never sounds robotic and your regulars never see the same line twice.
- Tip 10g and you're crowned an absolute legend.
- Tip a generous 5g and the goat sings your praises.
- Tip 1g? You'll get one of several flavours of heartfelt, gloriously passive-aggressive gratitude. Never rude, always polite, devastatingly sincere.
A taste of the 1g treatment:
"1g! How thoughtful. I'll treasure it forever, right next to my other 1g tips. Safe travels!"
"Ah, the legendary 1g. A coin of immense cultural value. Thank you, patron of the arts."
"Wow, a whole 1g. Truly, the heavens have smiled upon me today. Safe travels, big spender."
"A crisp 1g. I shall frame it. Thank you for your boundless generosity, traveller."
Players tell me it's the funniest part of the addon.
⚙️ Near-full automation, fully yours
The portal goes out, tips are accepted automatically through trade, and clearing a finished customer is a single click. The addon never shuts itself down behind your back — it stays open and working until you say otherwise.
- Add your own Intent / Destination / Service keywords to widen what it matches.
- Set an invite cooldown to any duration, or switch it off.
- Tune the intent-scoring weights to match exactly who you want to catch.
- Adjust food and water prices, with automatic low-stock alerts.
- Edit the messages sent at each step, including the suggested tip.
🧩 Good to know
Right-click the addon icon in game to open the settings — no command line needed.
- Hid the icon by accident? Type /bmp show
- Other commands: /bmp, /bmp stats, /bmp help
Plant yourself in the nearest capital, open shop, and let the biquette do the talking.
By Bîquette — Spineshatter EU.





