Easy Mail fixup

refactored settings save table system to not be stupid. it now actually works right on new characters and old, fully.  don't know why I didnt do this the first time through.

attachment list clears invalid entries upon loading pane
fixed addon inbox not properly updating if you deleted mail via the vanilla UI while EM was closed. this also led to errors when clicking phantom mail.

added a new setting that allows the contacts list to automatically refresh whenever friend list or guild update their member lists, instead of needing to toggle between friend/guild tabs if you add or remove contacts. this functionality is a bit 'experimental' in that it fires whenever the friend list or guild list update their roster status, including online/offline state. could cause issues with selecting the right people.